I’m shit with words so I’m just going to say fuck me I’m glad you’re still with us. What a knockout first edition, so beautifully written.
You’ve sent me down memory lane with the rewinding tape comments. I didn’t have a vcr growing up so we had to rent one along with the films (it was called moviebox in Sweden, not sure if they went by that name in the UK) and half the time they didn’t work. But when they did, what magic it was to escape into those worlds. The first ever movies I saw on vhs (I’m 48) was Romancing the Stone and The Terminator and I still love both .
Take care and I look forward to the next edition xx
Terri, sending you a huge hug. My heart broke when I saw the mention of your boyfriend and boy and I realised this was recent. I’m glad you’re here with us sharing your incredible words and heartfelt writing. Thank you for being so open and honest.
Films and TV have definitely been a huge escape for me through various ups and downs but especially recently. Last year my marriage broke down after I was told he didn’t love me any more, and that he didn’t want to fix things for us and our two boys - right before I was due to go to a screening of A Quiet Place 2! I still went and sat at the back, on my own holding back tears through the whole film, but as it went on I felt a strange sense of calm wash over me so I was able to face coming home again afterwards and carry on as normal for the boys.
Those next few months I would escape into any film I could get to in the cinema (perfect timing for me to have purchased my very first unlimited cinema pass!) - In The Heights was one I went back to over and over again, mainly for the sunshine and pool dance. At home it was Captain America: The Winter Soldier and I also found myself watching and falling in love with Zoë Kravitz and all her relationships in High Fidelity. For the rest of the year I binged through Friends, The Good Place, Schitts Creek and Parks and Rec which are my comfort shows that Inlaugh and cry along with regularly. Where would we be without our faithful films and shows to get us through? At least now I get to choose the film EVERY TIME and don’t have to suffer through the latest Transformers (apart from Bumblebee, LOVED that one!) or Fast and Furious!
Last year in the miserable January lockdown I found my safe space was Death in Paradise. Returned to it again this year, the perfect antidote (for me) to January.
Also, as an ex video shop girl, we used to have a v v quick rewind machine! I miss video shops. Thank you for being here, and for writing.
I have a go to when I feel like I need an emotional release - Whale Rider.
There’s just something about how quiet the whole thing is (even the angrier/more disappointed scenes seem to come across hushed all the time), and of course the ending just brings it all together in time for me to go back about my day.
Wow Terri this is brutally beautiful and resonated with me so much. There have been times when the darkness has been all consuming but film has literally saved my life on a number of occasions. It has been the one constant in my life that I have turned to for comfort, for escape, for a good cry and a good laugh ❤️One of my go to films to beat the blues is Little Miss Sunshine - never fails to make me feel like there is something in life worth sticking round for x
I’m here catching up on my emails after my first round of chemo ahead of a stem cell transplant for my MS in the summer. Yesterday was really rough with nausea and light headedness but today I’m glad to be feeling a bit better, for now and with enough concentration to go back to your new newsletter.
What a joy to hear from you Terry. And as everyone else has already said so beautifully how heartbreaking it was to realise you’ve been in such a dark place so recently. I’m really sorry to hear this. Sending much love and hugs and thank you for sharing your story, and for sharing what is helping you back into the light, with a hint of northern gritty dark that we love. ❤️
Some great recommendations there. I’m a sucker for procedurals unlike a certain James Dyer but give me a Bones, Castle, The Mentalist, NCIS, 911, SWAT, White Collar and I’m in heaven! I’ll definitely be checking out Rizzoli & Isles and Unforgettable. Thank you for that.
I loved that the musicals have been a good place for you. The greatest showman is wonderful and one I don’t watch enough. I think I need to get that on my playlist for today. 🎶
In terms of safe places on tv shows I often find myself in old school detective stories like Poirot, Morse, Lewis, Endeavour, Vera. I find them abit like a big hug. Or MCU movies have probably been watched more than anything else although since Disney+ it has mainly been a joy sharing them and the Star Wars movies with my ten year old!
However, and again this is something I share with my ten year old, if we need something to disappear into it’s always Doctor Who. His favourite is Matt Smith and I have to say he has had some wonderful storylines although I was disappointed by his regeneration episode. David Tennant has always been my first love when it comes to the Doctor so I was ‘loosing my shit’ as much as you were when I heard both DT and Donna were coming back. They made such a great 50th anniversary episode I’m feeling confident with whatever they do with them! It is exciting. Particularly with RTD at the helm. What a joy ❤️
I’ve already read your great second newsletter about top gun and more and so look forward to hearing from you again soon Terry. Thanks for the great idea of the newsletter and all the new exciting things on your horizon and thank you for sharing, the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s perfect and very you. Much love x ❤️
My go to film in tough times is Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom. Arguably not the greatest entry in the franchise (and on the face of it, a really surreal choice), but it was the first film I ever saw in a cinema, and my multiplex addiction started there! Like many others, I’m stunned that you’ve been in such a dark place relatively recently. Sending huge hugs in your direction, and hopefully (if it hasn’t passed already), this new venture and the support of all of us on it will help you through.
Hey Terri, absolutely moved by this. We all watch TV and film l and both enjoy, dislike, laugh, turn off or simply tune in. Buy sometimes I am thankful that such entertainment is there to remind me that I do feel something. That I can laugh, feel joy, cry, even disgust when the rest of my world, disgusting as that has been at points, felt so numb.
With that in mind, this is what got me through a particularly dark period:-
TV:-
Angel - the superb Buffy spin-off, and still my favourite show of all time. It has gotten me through everything.
Tales From the Crypt - delightfully silly as it can be gruesome, these are almost an annual event for me. It's a great reminder of, in a pre-streaming period, what Hollywood could get it's best talent to do as a collective.
Justified - the modern western is simply too captivating not to be drawn into. And in Raylan Givens (the irresistible Timothy Olyphant, and I'm a married hetero guy) changed my approach to the outside world, and to people (particularly those with selfish intentions, which is far too many)
Movies:-
Inception - there is no better escapism than a dream. Dreams of my children in danger only strengthens my bind with them, but this concept piece on dream manipulation is just a dream to watch.
Blade - It simply reminds me of a time when I went to the cinema constantly - in this films case 4 times - and as only just old enough to see it, completely liberating.
Transformers The Movie - this was my go to movie at the local VHS rental shop. If there was nothing new, this was it. I still watch it regularly, and it still feels way ahead of its time.
As with many here, I was shocked to see how recently you were thinking of suicide. Oh honey - big mum hug from me too. You work so hard and I suspect have high expectations of yourself and push yourself. I just want to say from my point of view you are exceeding them. I so very much respect your extraordinary talent and perspective. Love to you as you continue this post-Empire period and hope very much you give yourself the much needed breaks we all must have.
RE Movies - 1. the Great Race - absolute genius comedy, mindless fabulous - incredible cast.
2. Star Wars 1977 - saw it 9 times growing up at the Marble Arch Odeon when it opened
3. Raiders - of course
4. Then it is a big pile up of His Girl Friday, Philadelphia Story, Godfather 1-2, Goonies, MCU (love almost all), all the original Pink Panther.
Bottom line for me: nothing too real. Can’t handle it. Need the escape.
Oh man this is excellent. I have been thinking about this all evening *rolls up sleeves*
My health is fucked so when I’m super ill at home all I can manage is constants. Come Dine, Doctors (ha), Real Housewives (Beverly Hills, OC, Melbourne, Sydney), BBC News 24. Don’t rock the boat. If E4 are rerunning Gilmore girls we praise. It only counts if it’s on linear telly? I don’t know why. Currently one-eyeing the OC at 11am whilst trying not to fall asleep again. I recently could only sleep if the omnibus of Four in a Bed was on, but I would still manage to wake every 20 mins to check the breakfast offering for the B&B.
If I need to be taken totally out of my own head I can drag the box set of This Life out and be immediately transported to what I thought life would be like.
If I need reminding of where I came from The Simpsons and Neighbours have been with me across childhoods and oceans and it kills me one is ending soon, I am not even slightly embarrassed I am bereft.
What an amazing first edition. I expected to like it (that's why I signed up after all) but I wasn't expecting to be brought to tears. I'm on the uptick (I hope) from my most recent snaffoo and TV in particular has got me through again. I've been dealing with these bouts for 30+ years (and for context, I'm 41) and you've perfectly articulated how I feel. Currently I'm just hanging out with Ted Lasso or The Fosters. When it was worse last year, for some reason I couldn't cope with any fiction and resorted to all documentaries (there's about five different men all taking credit for putting I Will Always Love You in The Bodyguard). Thank you for being your usual open self.
Rizzoli and Isles - I never watches that but before it made the TV I think I’d read about a dozen Tess Gerritsen novels - they were impossible to put down.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and what helped you though.
Videos of I’ll always have a special place in my heart. I grew up living above my mums video rental shop. I would watch all of the new releases (some wildly inappropriate ones) and my job was to make sure that all returned videos were rewound for the next customer.
Living in a video shop enabled me to watch Star Wars, in revers order! As a kid of the 80s return of the Jedi was on every Christmas so that’s the first Star Wars I watched. I caught Empire strikes back at some point but it wasn’t until the early 90s when we moved to the video shop that I was able to see a new hope.
I also loved getting to keep the cool standees and posters. The best was the one for predator 2 which was a full size predator in some cool hologram / heat signature effect.
Some of me favorite films are now the random ones I remember from living in that shop. Long live the video tape!
Jerry Maguire, a go to when I need to get emotional. I don’t know why but the bit where Rod Tidwell may have the career ending injury and the crowd starts to chant, pips “you complete me” every time. When I just need to block everything out, an Ealing comedy: Passport to Pimlico, Lavender Hill Mob, Man in the White Suit, Ladykillers (in that order).
I’m shit with words so I’m just going to say fuck me I’m glad you’re still with us. What a knockout first edition, so beautifully written.
You’ve sent me down memory lane with the rewinding tape comments. I didn’t have a vcr growing up so we had to rent one along with the films (it was called moviebox in Sweden, not sure if they went by that name in the UK) and half the time they didn’t work. But when they did, what magic it was to escape into those worlds. The first ever movies I saw on vhs (I’m 48) was Romancing the Stone and The Terminator and I still love both .
Take care and I look forward to the next edition xx
Terri, sending you a huge hug. My heart broke when I saw the mention of your boyfriend and boy and I realised this was recent. I’m glad you’re here with us sharing your incredible words and heartfelt writing. Thank you for being so open and honest.
Films and TV have definitely been a huge escape for me through various ups and downs but especially recently. Last year my marriage broke down after I was told he didn’t love me any more, and that he didn’t want to fix things for us and our two boys - right before I was due to go to a screening of A Quiet Place 2! I still went and sat at the back, on my own holding back tears through the whole film, but as it went on I felt a strange sense of calm wash over me so I was able to face coming home again afterwards and carry on as normal for the boys.
Those next few months I would escape into any film I could get to in the cinema (perfect timing for me to have purchased my very first unlimited cinema pass!) - In The Heights was one I went back to over and over again, mainly for the sunshine and pool dance. At home it was Captain America: The Winter Soldier and I also found myself watching and falling in love with Zoë Kravitz and all her relationships in High Fidelity. For the rest of the year I binged through Friends, The Good Place, Schitts Creek and Parks and Rec which are my comfort shows that Inlaugh and cry along with regularly. Where would we be without our faithful films and shows to get us through? At least now I get to choose the film EVERY TIME and don’t have to suffer through the latest Transformers (apart from Bumblebee, LOVED that one!) or Fast and Furious!
Painful, joyful, thank you.
Last year in the miserable January lockdown I found my safe space was Death in Paradise. Returned to it again this year, the perfect antidote (for me) to January.
Also, as an ex video shop girl, we used to have a v v quick rewind machine! I miss video shops. Thank you for being here, and for writing.
Cheers for this Terri - hell of an opener...
I have a go to when I feel like I need an emotional release - Whale Rider.
There’s just something about how quiet the whole thing is (even the angrier/more disappointed scenes seem to come across hushed all the time), and of course the ending just brings it all together in time for me to go back about my day.
Wow Terri this is brutally beautiful and resonated with me so much. There have been times when the darkness has been all consuming but film has literally saved my life on a number of occasions. It has been the one constant in my life that I have turned to for comfort, for escape, for a good cry and a good laugh ❤️One of my go to films to beat the blues is Little Miss Sunshine - never fails to make me feel like there is something in life worth sticking round for x
I’m here catching up on my emails after my first round of chemo ahead of a stem cell transplant for my MS in the summer. Yesterday was really rough with nausea and light headedness but today I’m glad to be feeling a bit better, for now and with enough concentration to go back to your new newsletter.
What a joy to hear from you Terry. And as everyone else has already said so beautifully how heartbreaking it was to realise you’ve been in such a dark place so recently. I’m really sorry to hear this. Sending much love and hugs and thank you for sharing your story, and for sharing what is helping you back into the light, with a hint of northern gritty dark that we love. ❤️
Some great recommendations there. I’m a sucker for procedurals unlike a certain James Dyer but give me a Bones, Castle, The Mentalist, NCIS, 911, SWAT, White Collar and I’m in heaven! I’ll definitely be checking out Rizzoli & Isles and Unforgettable. Thank you for that.
I loved that the musicals have been a good place for you. The greatest showman is wonderful and one I don’t watch enough. I think I need to get that on my playlist for today. 🎶
In terms of safe places on tv shows I often find myself in old school detective stories like Poirot, Morse, Lewis, Endeavour, Vera. I find them abit like a big hug. Or MCU movies have probably been watched more than anything else although since Disney+ it has mainly been a joy sharing them and the Star Wars movies with my ten year old!
However, and again this is something I share with my ten year old, if we need something to disappear into it’s always Doctor Who. His favourite is Matt Smith and I have to say he has had some wonderful storylines although I was disappointed by his regeneration episode. David Tennant has always been my first love when it comes to the Doctor so I was ‘loosing my shit’ as much as you were when I heard both DT and Donna were coming back. They made such a great 50th anniversary episode I’m feeling confident with whatever they do with them! It is exciting. Particularly with RTD at the helm. What a joy ❤️
I’ve already read your great second newsletter about top gun and more and so look forward to hearing from you again soon Terry. Thanks for the great idea of the newsletter and all the new exciting things on your horizon and thank you for sharing, the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s perfect and very you. Much love x ❤️
My go to film in tough times is Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom. Arguably not the greatest entry in the franchise (and on the face of it, a really surreal choice), but it was the first film I ever saw in a cinema, and my multiplex addiction started there! Like many others, I’m stunned that you’ve been in such a dark place relatively recently. Sending huge hugs in your direction, and hopefully (if it hasn’t passed already), this new venture and the support of all of us on it will help you through.
Hey Terri, absolutely moved by this. We all watch TV and film l and both enjoy, dislike, laugh, turn off or simply tune in. Buy sometimes I am thankful that such entertainment is there to remind me that I do feel something. That I can laugh, feel joy, cry, even disgust when the rest of my world, disgusting as that has been at points, felt so numb.
With that in mind, this is what got me through a particularly dark period:-
TV:-
Angel - the superb Buffy spin-off, and still my favourite show of all time. It has gotten me through everything.
Tales From the Crypt - delightfully silly as it can be gruesome, these are almost an annual event for me. It's a great reminder of, in a pre-streaming period, what Hollywood could get it's best talent to do as a collective.
Justified - the modern western is simply too captivating not to be drawn into. And in Raylan Givens (the irresistible Timothy Olyphant, and I'm a married hetero guy) changed my approach to the outside world, and to people (particularly those with selfish intentions, which is far too many)
Movies:-
Inception - there is no better escapism than a dream. Dreams of my children in danger only strengthens my bind with them, but this concept piece on dream manipulation is just a dream to watch.
Blade - It simply reminds me of a time when I went to the cinema constantly - in this films case 4 times - and as only just old enough to see it, completely liberating.
Transformers The Movie - this was my go to movie at the local VHS rental shop. If there was nothing new, this was it. I still watch it regularly, and it still feels way ahead of its time.
As with many here, I was shocked to see how recently you were thinking of suicide. Oh honey - big mum hug from me too. You work so hard and I suspect have high expectations of yourself and push yourself. I just want to say from my point of view you are exceeding them. I so very much respect your extraordinary talent and perspective. Love to you as you continue this post-Empire period and hope very much you give yourself the much needed breaks we all must have.
RE Movies - 1. the Great Race - absolute genius comedy, mindless fabulous - incredible cast.
2. Star Wars 1977 - saw it 9 times growing up at the Marble Arch Odeon when it opened
3. Raiders - of course
4. Then it is a big pile up of His Girl Friday, Philadelphia Story, Godfather 1-2, Goonies, MCU (love almost all), all the original Pink Panther.
Bottom line for me: nothing too real. Can’t handle it. Need the escape.
Again - love and big hugs to you!
Oh man this is excellent. I have been thinking about this all evening *rolls up sleeves*
My health is fucked so when I’m super ill at home all I can manage is constants. Come Dine, Doctors (ha), Real Housewives (Beverly Hills, OC, Melbourne, Sydney), BBC News 24. Don’t rock the boat. If E4 are rerunning Gilmore girls we praise. It only counts if it’s on linear telly? I don’t know why. Currently one-eyeing the OC at 11am whilst trying not to fall asleep again. I recently could only sleep if the omnibus of Four in a Bed was on, but I would still manage to wake every 20 mins to check the breakfast offering for the B&B.
If I need to be taken totally out of my own head I can drag the box set of This Life out and be immediately transported to what I thought life would be like.
If I need reminding of where I came from The Simpsons and Neighbours have been with me across childhoods and oceans and it kills me one is ending soon, I am not even slightly embarrassed I am bereft.
What an amazing first edition. I expected to like it (that's why I signed up after all) but I wasn't expecting to be brought to tears. I'm on the uptick (I hope) from my most recent snaffoo and TV in particular has got me through again. I've been dealing with these bouts for 30+ years (and for context, I'm 41) and you've perfectly articulated how I feel. Currently I'm just hanging out with Ted Lasso or The Fosters. When it was worse last year, for some reason I couldn't cope with any fiction and resorted to all documentaries (there's about five different men all taking credit for putting I Will Always Love You in The Bodyguard). Thank you for being your usual open self.
Rizzoli and Isles - I never watches that but before it made the TV I think I’d read about a dozen Tess Gerritsen novels - they were impossible to put down.
Oh wow… this is the FREE content! So good to read your words again. I just love the energy in your writing. And True Romance should be on every list!
Thank you so much for sharing your story and what helped you though.
Videos of I’ll always have a special place in my heart. I grew up living above my mums video rental shop. I would watch all of the new releases (some wildly inappropriate ones) and my job was to make sure that all returned videos were rewound for the next customer.
Living in a video shop enabled me to watch Star Wars, in revers order! As a kid of the 80s return of the Jedi was on every Christmas so that’s the first Star Wars I watched. I caught Empire strikes back at some point but it wasn’t until the early 90s when we moved to the video shop that I was able to see a new hope.
I also loved getting to keep the cool standees and posters. The best was the one for predator 2 which was a full size predator in some cool hologram / heat signature effect.
Some of me favorite films are now the random ones I remember from living in that shop. Long live the video tape!
Thanks Terri
Jerry Maguire, a go to when I need to get emotional. I don’t know why but the bit where Rod Tidwell may have the career ending injury and the crowd starts to chant, pips “you complete me” every time. When I just need to block everything out, an Ealing comedy: Passport to Pimlico, Lavender Hill Mob, Man in the White Suit, Ladykillers (in that order).